Gods, Mortals and hypothetical first dates
by scaryprincess
Summary: BECAUSE I LIKE MY FROSTIRON! D: Romance and a touch of angst. Slight x-over with Hell boy: Golden Army because Prince Nuwada is like Loki's brother from another mother/universe lol only in passing, not a huge deal. Tony and Loki are having their usual banter only for it to turn into a conversation about what would their hypothetical first date would be and if they were 'serious'.


Gods, Mortals and hypothetical first dates

BECAUSE I LIKE MY FROSTIRON! D: Romance and a touch of angst. Slight x-over with Hell boy: Golden Army because Prince Nuwada is like Loki's brother from another mother/universe lol only in passing, not a huge deal.

Tony Stark always thought he would be the closest thing that a human would get to a god, he had the suit, he strived for world peace, and he protected the innocent.

He was a god on earth. So he was one of the only ones that could ever fight against Loki, so he couldn't help but be shocked when a god laughed bitterly in his face.

"You are nothing like a god" Loki had said, they were fighting a never-ending battle with the world as their arena. When Tony asked the liesmith to explain – all while they were in the middle of battle. Somehow Loki had made an ally with a dark elf prince called Nuwada, whom had bought a can (really a bean) of forest spirit whoop-ass down on their heads. So fighting a big ass flower monster and Loki in one messed up package.

"Is it your fetish to have lives of thousands in your hands?" Loki drawled, all the while dodging the man of irons attacks. It was never Loki fighting the avengers; it was Loki fighting Tony Stark. Their twisted version of foreplay with broken bones and bloody lips.

"If I wanted to be preached to I would have gone to church!" Tony called.

"You probably should, if you start acting as a god of migard" Loki waved his staff, flinging a block of concrete at the red and gold armoured man, Tony dodged.

"So blasphemous…" Loki hummed, green eyes blazing like the emerald fire he sometimes called upon, "You're too…human to be a god, we gods; are cruel monsters, and sadly you don't have a cruel bone in your body."

"They did call me 'merchant of death' once upon a time, you know"

"Really? That name has a nice ring to it, a lot better than Iron Man"

"What do you mean 'cruel'?" Tony asked, quickly changing the direction of the conversation away from his bloody past.

"Surely you have heard stories. For example, there was once a beautiful woman called Medusa that Poseidon had lusted over – he cornered the woman and raped her, Medusa begged Athena for salvation but the goddess was jealous of the mortal's beauty; ignored her pleas and turned the woman's hair in a writhing mass of snakes – anyone who to look upon her was to be turned into stone" Loki span the story darkly, it was no myth – it was the truth.

"You know, Greek mythology is bat shit crazy and full of incestuous bastards" Tony grumbled.

"They are and still are cruel, Asgardian's are mostly the same" Loki snarled, "Most of our cruellest of stories always have a lick of truth in it."

Loki reaches to touch his lips, where they once were sown together only to flinch back to glare at Tony.

"What human?"

"It turns you on" Tony called, with a hiss his mask retracted revealing his smug grin.

"What turns me on?" Loki all but growled, if the human were implying that he was aroused by that bloody episode in his life – the god knew he would rip out the mans heart!

"My humanity, it-rocks-your-world" Tony sang, "Because I'm not an immortal pain in the arse and not cruel god."

Loki raised an eyebrow; it was an interesting idea if not an insane one.

"Oh and I suppose my immortally turns you on" Loki scoffed, tilting his head to the side. Humans longed to be immortal; it was one of their long known vices.

"You know it, babe" Tony winked.

The Man of iron and the god of lies stood staring the other down.

"You know, we should stop this before we get into a serious relationship, I talk so much to you I feel like I should ask you out" Tony yelled over the roar of a failing Shield helicopter which crashed nearby, a vine curling around the blades which broke their uncomfortable silence.

It was true; Tony spoke more to Loki than he did to some of his one-night stands or even Pepper.

"Serious? If we did get 'serious' what would your actions be-In case you were concerned the one you call Captain America is removing the survivors" Loki gestured to the blur of blue and red doing Tony's job.

"Well, first things first I would take you out" Tony responded, ignoring the last bit.

"Where would you take me?" Loki asked; a genuine smile flickered on the tricksters face.

"Zoo or museum. You seem like that type of guy"

"That's all?" Loki drawled unimpressed.

"Well, it would be our first date so I would spoil you a bit."

"I do like to be looked after." Loki drawled, making Tony smirk.

"We would go afterwards to a nice restaurant, your choice."

"But I know so very little of Migradian cuisine."

"Italian. Everyone like Italian food."

"I'll take your word for it."

"Then I'll fly you around to the beach at my Malibu penthouse."

"That sounds acceptable - Then what shall you do?" Loki sighed, looking at the shorter man with hooded eyes.

'I'll take you to my room, I'll tell Jarvis to light some candles -no, no candles; just darkness and the moonlight"

"Yes?" Loki breathed, and if Tony heard correctly the god's breath hitched but he could be making things up because of exhaustion. Exhaustion from the battle with an angry, bitch-faced elf and weed monster pets that looked like something from Spyro and the Sky-Landers; with serious incestuous undertones with his twin sister.

And Tony thought he was a narcissist.

"Well, I would push you onto my bed …"

"You will find Anthony – I will be the one doing the pushing." Loki hummed; flinging his head back but Tony could see the quick heaves of breath and diluted pupils.

The trickster may be immortal but he still shown signs of human arousal.

Tony shivered, no one has had the gall to use his full name-and make it sound like pure sex and smooth as sin, his own pupils were diluted too probably and his heart thumping in his ears.

"And we will…I guess…ah…" For the first time in Tony's life he was loss for words.

"Have deep passionate love; christen your Egyptian cotton sheets with our sweat and sown oats. Is that what you had in mind Anthony?" Loki breathed, no longer staring at battle but into the brown eyes of Iron Man.

"_Yes…_" Tony all but hissed out though clenched teeth, otherwise he would have moaned at the uncensored images that were created.

Loki was not that much better, with flushed cheeks and hazy eyes did the god stare at the mortal.

"Brother!" Thor screamed, snapping them out of their thoughts, the boisterous thunder god was covered in green goo (chlorophyll, Tony's mind unhelpfully added)

Prince Nuwada had fled with the appearance of the red demon like creature locally known as Hell boy, trench coat and a puffing away at a thick cigar - nothing surprised the Avengers anymore, with alien Viking gods, and mutants' running around this has all become very ordinary.

Loki rolled his eyes at Thor and waved dismissively at his former brother, whom was flying towards him.

"Tis a shame then, to have such a lovely thought about us but we're not serious…"

Loki drawled as he faded out in emerald flames, Tony caught a flicker of a disappointed smile, a sad longing smile of a god but then he was gone – leaving Thor tackling air and hitting the ground with a loud thud.

"Yeah, a crying shame." Tony huffed quietly, "Because I think I want to be serious with you."

Tony needed to get home and drown himself in drink.

Hidden in a nearby ally-way was the emerald and gold god, sight set only on the armoured man that was staring wistfully at the spot he once was.

…Comments please


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